I’m back for #whattheteacherreads , but this time with a more personal twist! Ready? I have to say that some of my favorite reads have come from people I look to for guidance. Perhaps they know what I “need” subconsciously? Maybe I trust their experiences to help guide me? Either way, I happened across a woman on IG by the name of Sheri Gaskins. If you haven’t heard of her husband, Tony Gaskins, you should. I scrolled through her feed and noticed how inspirational and active she is even with a couple kiddos and a 8 year marriage. I immediately thought to myself TEACH ME YOUR WAYS and was told that she had a book I could read that was short, sweet, and encouraging. The next morning while sitting at an
overly engaging track meet I read her book and it was quite what I needed. She wrote her book in a form of Q&A which prompted me to do some self reflecting. Of course because I’m always thinking in “write that down” terms, I did! Here are a couple questions she answered along with my own personal answers. You may be thinking that this has NOTHING to do with teaching, but I do believe that our personal lives flow into our daily lives in ways we can’t imagine. Here it goes…
How did you make him say “I Do”?
Funnily enough, right around the time I’d “decided” it was time to get married I read Steve Harvey’s book Think Like a Man Act Like a Lady. He said to let your intentions be known & that’s exactly what I did. I told my husband I wanted to be married by 27. I didn’t ask any questions ; I just said it. He will tell you this had zero influence on his decision but, I got married a little over 4 months shy of my 27th birthday.
What I will say is after my son was born we lived together for the 3 yrs before we got married. I allowed him to continue on his”normal” life and be him. I ever asked questions when he went out and partied. I never asked him why we weren’t married. Instead, I learned how to cook, got my Masters degree, and encouraged him to be better. I supported him when he was going through legal issues, went with him to enroll in college and encouraged him to be a better man overall.
I will say I spoke my marriage into existence and set expectations. My husband will say HE decided to marry because of two things- loyalty and undying support. Those two haven’t changed since day one.
What things do you refuse to Tolerate?
As a woman I think the things I refused to tolerate at the beginning of my relationship have changed over time. I’m not one of those people that says one strike you’re out. Instead I believe that forgiveness is key. I mean the Bible says to forgive 70 x 7, so who am I to say one strike and you’re out? Now, you may disagree and I do too with certain things.
Putting your hands on me, harming my child, or putting me risk of losing my livelihood are automatic disqualifications. Don’t put me in danger of not being able to support my family. I was the main breadwinner of my family for a long time and I still am a major part of the financial team.
As a mom, harming my children is a disqualification & maybe even a life-ender, on your part. Hurting me, that’s another story. Emotionally, I believe I can take a LOT (I carried two babies for Pete’s sake…you know how crazy my emotions were?). I’ve grown to understand how to take care of myself and perhaps even mend a broken heart. However, physically that is not something I’m not willing to experience. Physical abuse is a disqualification, period.
I would strongly encourage you to grab Wife Type. It took me less than an hour and I really got to think about my life and marriage and even if you aren’t married, it could help you get in the mind frame of expectations. Kudos Sheri for writing such a cool easy read packed with information!!!